BOO!

Didn't scare ya much huh? I guess ghosts and goblins are pretty low on the scale of things to be frightened of on this particular halloween. There are some interesting things happening in the sky tonight though. Halloween will be lit up by a full moon this year for the first time since 1955, and a full moon won't rise on Halloween again until 2020. And (drumroll please) it's a blue moon too. To make the superstitious even more jittery a constellation associated with the some end-of-the-world beliefs will also be at the top of the Oct. 31 night sky. If that doesn't put the "ook" back in spooky I don't know what will.
Posted 9:21 AM by whatley 0 comments

I have to admit that I'm very skeptical of any speech given by any sitting politician. It's kind of sad to say but my mistrust of them runs very deep. Sometimes though, after they've left political life and all further political ambitions behind them they'll give a different kind of talk, more from the heart maybe, or at least it can seem that way to me. In that light (and only that light) here's the text of a speech delivered by Bill Clinton at Yale University on Oct. 6, 2001 concerning his views on "the first great struggle for the soul of the 21st century".

I also noticed A Chicago Tribune article about U.S. fringe groups praising terrorist actions. Kind of Falwell-esque in a way.
Posted 11:26 AM by whatley 0 comments

This is from a friend of mine in California:

Hewlett - Packard recently closed a computer plant in Roseville, California. One of the wholesale warehouses bought up many pallets of computers. They aren't the latest or fastest, but how many of us really need that? Here is what is available.

HP computer, IBM clone, called the "Brios" or something like that.
533 mhz mother board, processor by Intel.
5 gig hard drive
64 meg RAM, can be doubled to 128 meg for $10 additional.
56 k modem
small tower
HP keyboard and mouse.

You already have a monitor or you wouldn't be reading this. You probably have a printer that is OK. So it's the basic system for $425. It is all in sealed boxes and can be shipped to North Dakota or the Czech Republic.

My amateur radio friends in Lodi, California (about 30 miles from Rosemont) purchase their computers from the local store that bought up the supply. Let me know if anyone of us or anyone you know are interested, and I will make the connections for us.
Posted 12:08 PM by Andy Allan 0 comments

OMB Watch, a private government watchdog group, has compiled a list of documents the U.S. government has deleted from its Web servers since Sept. 11. Along with the stuff you'd expect, such as maps of nuclear power stations, are some things you wouldn't: The state of Pennsylvania has taken down a database of environmental information. {via Network World Fusion}
Posted 12:11 PM by whatley 0 comments

The following was sent to us by a friend, from a web site called religioustolerance.org.
In case of paranoia or panic, read twice and call me in the morning.

Russ


SURVIVING CHEMICAL, BIOLOGICAL OR NUCLEAR TERRORISM ATTACKS
"Words of Wisdom From An Armor Master"
by SFC Red Thomas (Ret)

Overview:

Since the media has decided to scare everyone with predictions of
chemical, biological, or nuclear warfare on our turf I decided to write
a paper and keep things in their proper perspective. I am a retired
military weapons, munitions, and training expert.

Lesson number one: In the mid 1990s there were a series of nerve gas
attacks on crowded Japanese subway stations. Given perfect conditions
for an attack less than 10% of the people there were injured.

60 Minutes once had a fellow telling us that one drop of nerve gas could
kill a thousand people, well he didn't tell you the thousand dead people
per drop was theoretical. Drill Sergeants exaggerate how terrible this
stuff was to keep the recruits awake in class (I know this because I was
a Drill Sergeant too). Forget everything you've ever seen on TV, in the
movies, or read in a novel about this stuff, it was all a lie. (Read
this sentence again out loud!). These weapons are about terror, if you
remain calm, you will probably not die.

This is far less scary than the media and their "Experts," make it
sound.

Chemical weapons:

Chemical weapons are categorized as Nerve, Blood, Blister, and
Incapacitating agents Contrary to the hype of reporters and politicians
they are not weapons of mass destruction they are "Area denial," and
terror weapons that don't destroy anything. When you leave the area you
almost always leave the risk. That's the difference; you can leave the
area and the risk; soldiers may have to stay put and sit through it and
that's why they need all that spiffy gear.

These are not gasses, they are vapors and/or air borne particles. The
agent must be delivered in sufficient quantity to kill/injure, and that
defines when/how it's used. Every day we have a morning and evening
inversion where "stuff," suspended in the air gets pushed down. This
inversion is why allergies (pollen) and air pollution are worst at these
times of the day. So, a chemical attack will have it's best effect an
hour of so either side of sunrise/sunset. Also, being vapors and
airborne particles they are heavier than air so they will seek low
places like ditches, basements and underground garages. This stuff won't
work when it's freezing, it doesn't last when it's hot, and wind spreads
it too thin too fast. They've got to get this stuff on you, or, get you
to inhale it for it to work. They also have to get the concentration of
chemicals high enough to kill or wound you. Too little and it's nothing,
too much and it's wasted. What I hope you've gathered by this point is
that a chemical weapons attack that kills a lot of people is incredibly
hard to do with military grade agents and equipment so you can imagine
how hard it will be for terrorists. The more you know about this stuff
the more you realize how hard it is to use.

Nerve agents:

You have these in your house, plain old bug killer (like Raid) is nerve
agent. All nerve agents work the same way; they are cholinesterase
inhibitors that mess up the signals your nervous system uses to make
your body function. It can harm you if you get it on your skin but it
works best if they can get you to inhale it. If you don't die in the
first minute and you can leave the area you're probably going to live.
The military's antidote for all nerve agents is atropine and pralidoxime
chloride. Neither one of these does anything to cure the nerve agent,
they send your body into overdrive to keep you alive for five minutes,
after that the agent is used up. Your best protection is fresh air and
staying calm. Listed below are the symptoms for nerve agent poisoning.


Sudden headache,
Dimness of vision (someone you're looking at will have pinpointed pupils),
Runny nose,
Excessive saliva or drooling,
Difficulty breathing,
Tightness in chest,
Nausea,
Stomach cramps, and
Twitching of exposed skin where a liquid just got on you.

If you are in public and you start experiencing these symptoms, first
ask yourself:


Did anything out of the ordinary just happen, a loud pop, did someone spray
something on the crowd?
Are other people getting sick too?
Is there an odor of new mown hay, green corn, something fruity, or camphor
where it shouldn't be?

If the answer is yes, then calmly (if you panic you breathe faster and
inhale more air/poison) leave the area and head up wind, or, outside.
Fresh air is the best "right now antidote." If you have a blob of liquid
that looks like molasses or Karo syrup on you, blot it or scrape it off
and away from yourself with anything disposable. This stuff works based
on your body weight, what a crop duster uses to kill bugs won't hurt you
unless you stand there and breathe it in real deep, then lick the
residue off the ground for while. Remember they have to do all the work,
they have to get the concentration up and keep it up for several minutes
while all you have to do is quit getting it on you/quit breathing it by
putting space between you and the attack.

Blood agents:

Blood agents are cyanide or arsine which effect your blood's ability to
provide oxygen to your tissue.

The scenario for attack would be the same as nerve agent. Look for a pop
or someone splashing/spraying something and folks around there getting
woozy/falling down. The telltale smells are bitter almonds or garlic
where it shouldn't be. The symptoms are:


Blue lips,
Blue under the fingernails, and
Rapid breathing.

The military's antidote is amyl nitride. Just like nerve agent antidote,
it just keeps your body working for five minutes till the toxins are
used up. Fresh air is the your best individual chance Blister agents
(distilled mustard) are so nasty that nobody wants to even handle it let
alone use it. It's almost impossible to handle safely and may have
delayed effect of up to 12 hours. The attack scenario is also limited to
the things you'd see from other chemicals. If you do get large, painful
blisters for no apparent reason, don't pop them, if you must, don't let
the liquid from the blister get on any other area, the stuff just keeps
on spreading. It's just as likely to harm the user as the target. Soap,
water, sunshine, and fresh air are this stuff's enemy.

Bottom line on chemical weapons (it's the same if they use industrial
chemical spills); they are intended to make you panic, to terrorize you,
to heard you like sheep to the wolves. If there is an attack, leave the
area and go upwind, or to the sides of the wind stream. They have to get
the stuff to you, and on you. You're more likely to be hurt by a drunk
driver on any given day than be hurt by one of these attacks. Your odds
get better if you leave the area. Soap, water, time, and fresh air
really deal this stuff a knock-out-punch. Don't let fear of an isolated
attack rule your life. The odds are really on your side.

Nuclear bombs:

These are the only weapons of mass destruction on earth. The effects of
a nuclear bomb are heat, blast, EMP, and radiation. If you see a bright
flash of light like the sun, where the sun isn't, fall to the ground!
The heat will be over in a second. Then there will be two blast waves,
one out going, and one on it's way back. Don't stand up to see what
happened after the first wave. Anything that's going to happen will have
happened in two full minutes.

These will be low yield devices and will not level whole cities. If you
live through the heat, blast, and initial burst of radiation, you'll
probably live for a very very long time. Radiation will not create fifty
foot tall women, or giant ants and grass hoppers the size of tanks.
These will be, at the most, 1 kiloton bombs; that's the equivalent of
1,000 tons of TNT. Here's the real deal, flying debris and radiation
will kill a lot of exposed (not all!) people within a half mile of the
blast. Under perfect conditions this is about a half mile circle of
death and destruction, but, when it's done it's done. EMP stands for
"Electro Magnetic Pulse" and it will fry every electronic device for a
good distance. It's impossible to say what and how far but probably not
over a couple of miles from ground zero is a good guess. Cars, cell
phones, computers, ATMs, you name it, all will be out of order. There
are lots of kinds of radiation, you only need to worry about three, the
others you have lived with for years.

You need to worry about "Ionizing radiation," these are little sub
atomic particles that go whizzing along at the speed of light. They hit
individual cells in your body, kill the nucleus and keep on going.
That's how you get radiation poisoning, you have so many dead cells in
your body that the decaying cells poison you. It's the same as people
getting radiation treatments for cancer, only a bigger area gets
radiated. The good news is you don't have to just sit there and take it,
and there's lots you can do rather than panic.


First; your skin will stop alpha particles.
A page of a news paper or your clothing will stop beta particles.
You just have to try and avoid inhaling dust that's contaminated with atoms
that are emitting these things and you'll be generally safe from them.
Gamma rays are particles that travel like rays (quantum physics makes my brain
hurt) and they create the same damage as alpha and beta particles only they
keep going and kill lots of cells as they go all the way through your body. It
takes a lot to stop these things, lots of dense material, on the other hand it
takes a lot of this to kill you. Your defense is as always to not panic.

Basic hygiene and normal preparation are your friends:


All canned or frozen food is safe to eat.
The radiation poisoning will not effect plants. So, fruits and vegetables are
OK, if there's no dust on them. Rinse them off if there is.
If you don't have running water and you need to collect rain water or use
water from wherever, just let it sit for thirty minutes and skim off the water
gently from the top. The dust with the bad stuff in it will settle. The
remaining water can be used for the toilet which will still work if you have a
bucket of water to pour in the tank.

Biological warfare.

There's not much to cover here.

Basic personal hygiene and sanitation will take you further than a
million doctors:


Wash your hands often.
Don't share drinks, food, sloppy kisses, etc., with strangers.
Keep your garbage can with a tight lid on it.
Don't have standing water (like old buckets, ditches, or kiddy pools) laying
around to allow mosquitoes breeding room.

This stuff is carried by vectors, that is bugs, rodents, and
contaminated material. If biological warfare is as easy as the TV makes
it sound, why has Saddam Hussein spent twenty years, millions, and
millions of dollars trying to get it right? If you're clean of person
and home, if you eat well, and if you are active, you're going to live.

General precautions:

Overall preparation for any terrorist attack is the same as you'd take
for a big storm. If you want a gas mask, fine, go get one. I know this
stuff and I'm not getting one and I told my Mom not to bother with one
either (how's that for confidence). We have a week's worth of cash,
several days worth of canned goods and plenty of soap and water. We
don't leave stuff out to attract bugs or rodents so we don't have them.

Conclusions:

These people can't conceive a nation this big with this much resources.
These weapons are made to cause panic, terror, and to demoralize. If we
don't run around like sheep they won't use this stuff after they find
out it's no fun. The government is going nuts over this stuff because
they have to protect every inch of America. You've only going to protect
yourself, and by doing that, you help the country.

Disclaimers:

Finally, there are millions of caveats to everything I wrote here and
you can think up specific scenarios where my advice isn't the best. This
letter is supposed to help the greatest number of people under the
greatest number of situations. If you don't like my work, don't nit
pick, just sit down and explain chemical, nuclear, and biological
warfare in a document around three pages long yourself. This is how we
the people of the United States can rob these people of their most
desired goal, your terror.

Posted 10:30 AM by Russ Stevens 0 comments

Sure, you can have my number, it's 212-479-7990.

Site updates: I made a custom "404 - file not found" notice for us. Check it out with a nonexistent URL like this one: http://7393.org/bubba.html. I also created a way for you to save gif/jpg images, whatever, right on the 7393 site so you can then link to them here. It's always best to link to things stored at other places but if for some reason you can't, or the file is unique to you, it can now be put here. Tony mentioned once that he might record some tunes of a group he plays with in mpeg format for our listening pleasure. Things like that would be a perfect example of when to use this capability. Email me if you need to do this and I'll show you how.
Posted 8:58 AM by whatley 0 comments

And just when you thought Jerry Falwell couldn't possibly sink any lower. Then again maybe nobody thought that.
Posted 12:40 PM by whatley 0 comments

Uh, excuse me? I seem to have stumbled into this place; can someone tell me where I am? I was just following this rabbit through the woods, when, all of a sudden...

At least, I THINK it was a rabbit.. Perhaps, in retrospect, it was a Jedda. I never was good at that.
Posted 6:45 PM by Jim Strang 0 comments

Check out this essay on the media's use of the words "terrorism" and "terrorist". It's a good reminder that words matter.
Posted 6:35 PM by A. O. Gutierrez 0 comments

Nobody's yet cared to comment on the comic book links from last Thursday huh? I was looking forward to coming in today and seeing what you thought, especially Tim. My Monday motivation to come to work. Alas, I should have stayed in bed. There was some good news though. We have a new member as of today and another that will join today or tomorrow. I can't wait until they make their "howdy" posts. I think you'll be quite pleased when you see who they are. In the meantime you can play with these here water balloons. Your victims have some comments they would like to share so turn your sound up.
Posted 1:25 PM by whatley 0 comments

Interesting story about a 22-year-old white kid (surprisingly) who was prevented from boarding a United flight because of a book he was carrying. After going home and being told he could fly again, he took a different book: "This time, they took my Harry Potter book and about four people studied it for 20 minutes." He was again prevented from boarding. It's getting weird out there.
Posted 12:41 PM by whatley 0 comments

A few months ago (it was Friday, July 6th - wow, that spiffy new search feature really works) I linked to several comic strips that everyone seemed to like. If I remember the comments correctly "Red Meat" was the overwhelming favorite (you're a twisted bunch you are). The one thing they all had in common was that they are now, or were at one time, available in print.

These works have something different in common. They're only available online and are much more comic "book" in format rather than comic "strip". I'm quite intrigued by the whole concept of, well, for lack of a better term, digital comic books. I'd really like to know what you think of these.

The Spiders. This is part one of an eventual three part series. It's set in present day Afghanistan and combines current events with a touch of sci-fi. Take a close look at the last two panels for a hint of the sci-fi to come.

Nowhere Girl. I'm not too attracted by the content but the artwork is brilliant.

Platinum Grit. Three separate short works that use Flash and Shockwave for animation. More "cartoon" than "comic book" but maybe some hybrid between this and the two above are where the form is headed. (If you poke the bunny long enough he'll bite you.)

Get Your War On. I wasn't going to include this because it's definitely "strip" style. I went ahead because there's so much internet buzz going on about it just now.
Posted 12:20 PM by whatley 0 comments

Hi all, 'tis Ken Lowstetter, posting for the first time. As I told Whatley, I spend only a small amount of time on the internet, and although from time to time I read your postings, I don't think I have posted anything as yet. I don't know, too much likker and other substances have been wearing away away at the old grey matter for much too long. But I write you all with a couple of not so pleasant facts because there has been some confusion about my family situation. If you read the Comical Smell-a-Gram in August your are probably under the impression that my mother passed away then. This is not true. My step mother, who lived in Florida at the time died. As usual, your home town paper got it wrong. I did not find out about this confusion until I recently was back in Delerious, Ohio, for the passing of my real mother last week, and my brother informed me of this error. When I told Whatley the purpose of my visit, for he thought my mother died baack in August,he was confused. Being the all around sensitive guy that we know him to be, he didn't say anything like"Christ, you sure took your time in burying her!" I found out later that he was aware of the erroneous obit, and informed me that all my old friends knew about it and were very sympathetic. So I hope that the confusion is over for you all, and the next time I'm in town, the circumstances won't be so.....mortal... and w'll be able to suck a few brews and have a few jokes and solve the world's problems like we've been doing for lo these thirty some years. Love to all, and thanks for your concern.
Ken ps Tony, thanks for telling Ray my joke, actually it was a British comedian that I heard it from when once I lived in London town.
Posted 6:10 PM by Ken Lowstetter 0 comments

Here are the most definitive answers (at least as far as I can tell) to the two most puzzling questions that bedevil modern man. Well, I mean besides how to achieve world peace. My question to you is: If you could only have one of these two questions answered which would it be?
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
What are the real lyrics to "Louie Louie"?
Posted 10:35 AM by whatley 0 comments

I lifted the following paragraph from BoingBoing, one of the tech/news sites that I monitor. It concerns a subject that I've been meaning to post about and phrases my feelings so well that I just copied the whole thing. The link is to a Wired article.

"The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) drafted an amendment to the USA Act -- the sweeping antiterrorist bill that's creeping into law -- that would allow them to break into your computer and erase your infringing MP3s. The amendment would also immunize them from liability if they inadvertently erased critical files from your drive, even if you'd never infringed upon anyone's rights. Unfortunately for them, their lobbyists weren't able to convince lawmakers that such an amendment had anything to do with fighting terrorism, nor that granting vigilante powers to the gentle souls of the recording industry would further the ends of peace, justice and the American Way. Is there any other industry in the world that fears and hates its customers more than the music industry? Maybe the insurance industry, I guess. Maybe."

And finally, here's a bombing campaign that even Tony could get behind.
Posted 11:57 AM by whatley 0 comments

Neato opinion piece on how the Manly Man is back in style.
Posted 10:41 AM by whatley 0 comments

Anyone interested in being included in the EHS Drama Alumni information, please e-mail EHSDramaAlumni@aol.com. Feel free to pass this information along to anyone else who might be interested.
Posted 8:43 AM by Sally D. 0 comments

This has been flashing around the internet like crazy. It's a picture of a Pakistan anti-US demonstration reported in a Dutch news site. In the picture a poster of bin laden is being used. Take a look just over his left shoulder in the poster. Yes! It's Bert from Sesame Street! Apparently this image was downloaded from the 'net and widely reproduced by locals there who just never noticed Bert or didn't understand who he is. Several other pictures of demonstrators from various locations carrying this same poster are now surfacing.

Some background: photoshopped pictures of Bert have been a running joke on the internet for a long time. There's probably hundreds of them out there by now. Take a look at the "Bert is Evil" site to see what I mean. This whole thing could possibly be another internet hoax but I've been following it all day and I think there's a good chance it's true. What a hoot!

Thursday morning follow-up: Yep, that was a real news photo and not a hoax. The Dutch news site I linked to above seems to have cropped the photo so Bert can no longer be seen on the poster, probably because they were in danger of running out of bandwidth from everyone in the world going there for a look-see. Here's a Yahoo link to a photo of a different copy of the poster though Bert is harder to make out. Here's a better one.
Posted 4:09 PM by whatley 0 comments

Lamentations of the Father by Ian Frazier

Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the cloven-hoofed animal, plain or with cheese, you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the cereal grains, of the corn and of the wheat and of the oats, and of all the cereals that are of bright color and unknown provenance you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the quiescently frozen dessert and of all frozen after-meal treats you may eat, but absolutely not in the living room. Of the juices and other beverages, yes, even of those in sippy-cups, you may drink, but not in the living room, neither may you carry such therein. Indeed, when you reach the place where the living room carpet begins, of any food or beverage there you may not eat, neither may you drink.
But if you are sick, and are lying down and watching something, then may you eat in the living room.

Laws When at Table
And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they were. Neither raise up your knees, nor place your feet upon the table, for that is an abomination to me. Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon the table are an abomination, and worthy of rebuke. Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor fork, nor knife, nor spoon, for that is not what they are for; if you will dip your blocks in the milk, and lick it off, you will be sent away. When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table, and do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in order to make noises in it sounding like a duck; for you will be sent away.
When you chew your food, keep your mouth closed until you have swallowed, and do not open it to show your brother or your sister what is within; I say to you, do not so, even if your brother or your sister has done the same to you. Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is. And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is why. And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is why. Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me; for if you sit like that, your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I have said, it has come to pass.

Laws Pertaining to Dessert
For we judge between the plate that is unclean and the plate that is clean, saying first, if the plate is clean, then you shall have dessert. But of the unclean plate, the laws are these: If you have eaten most of your meat, and two bites of your peas with each bite consisting of not less than three peas each, or in total six peas, eaten where I can see, and you have also eaten enough of your potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfuls eaten where I can see, then you shall have dessert. But if you eat a lesser number of peas, and yet you eat the potatoes, still you shall not have dessert; and if you eat the peas, yet leave the potatoes uneaten, you shall not have dessert, no, not even a small portion thereof. And if you try to deceive by moving the potatoes or peas around with a fork, that it may appear you have eaten what you have not, you will fall into iniquity. And I will know, and you shall have no dessert.

On Screaming
Do not scream; for it is as if you scream all the time. If you are given a plate on which two foods you do not wish to touch each other are touching each other, your voice rises up even to the ceiling, while you point to the offense with the finger of your right hand; but I say to you, scream not, only remonstrate gently with the server, that the server may correct the fault. Likewise if you receive a portion of fish from which every piece of herbal seasoning has not been scraped off, and the herbal seasoning is loathsome to you, and steeped in vileness, again I say, refrain from screaming. Though the vileness overwhelm you, and cause you a faint unto death, make not that sound from within your throat, neither cover your face, nor press your fingers to your nose. For even now I have made the fish as it should be; behold, I eat of it myself, yet do not die.

Concerning Face and Hands
Cast your countenance upward to the light, and lift your eyes to the hills, that I may more easily wash you off. For the stains are upon you; even to the very back of your head, there is rice thereon. And in the breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your shoe, rice and other fragments are distributed in a manner wonderful to see. Only hold yourself still; hold still, I say. Give each finger in its turn for my examination thereof, and also each thumb. Lo, how iniquitous they appear. What I do is as it must be; and you shall not go hence until I have done.

Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances
Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, nor against any building; nor eat sand.
Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape? And hum not that humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the light and the book. Indeed, you will drive me to madness. Nor forget what I said about the tape.

Complaints and Lamentations
O my children, you are disobedient. For when I tell you what you must do, you argue and dispute hotly even to the littlest detail; and when I do not accede, you cry out, and hit and kick. Yes, and even sometimes do you spit, and shout "stupid-head" and other blasphemies, and hit and kick the wall and the molding thereof when you are sent to the corner. And though the law teaches that no one shall be sent to the corner for more minutes than he has years of age, yet I would leave you there all day, so mighty am I in anger. But upon being sent to the corner you ask straightaway, "Can I come out?" and I reply, "No, you may not come out." And again you ask, and again I give the same reply. But when you ask again a third time, then you may come out.
Hear me, O my children, for the bills they kill me. I pay and pay again, even to the twelfth time in a year, and yet again they mount higher than before. For our health, that we may be covered, I give six hundred and twenty talents twelve times in a year; but even this covers not the fifteen hundred deductible for each member of the family within a calendar year. And yet for ordinary visits we still are not covered, nor for many medicines, nor for the teeth within our mouths. Guess not at what rage is in my mind, for surely you cannot know.
For I will come to you at the first of the month and at the fifteenth of the month with the bills and a great whining and moan. And when the month of taxes comes, I will decry the wrong and unfairness of it, and mourn with wine and ashtrays, and rend my receipts. And you shall remember that I am that I am: before, after, and until you are twenty-one. Hear me then, and avoid me in my wrath, O children of me.

The Atlantic Monthly; February 1997; Volume 279, No. 2; pages 89-90
Posted 10:41 AM by whatley 0 comments

1) Call Deutsche Bank / National Discount Brokers at: 1-800-888-3999.

2) Listen to ALL of the options (it only takes a moment).

3) After hearing the 7th option, press 7 and listen.

(EVERY company should have an "Option 7")

Posted 11:03 PM by Andy Allan 0 comments

A graphic (and true, trust me on this) presentation of the dangers of consuming too much alcohol. (note for those without sound: the backround is just a muzak version of "girl from ipanema")
Posted 12:38 PM by whatley 0 comments

A number of people commented on the Miss America Quiz post from last Tuesday. So, you like quizes eh? This one's based on major events in American History: Remembering the date. I got 13 out of 17 correct for a passing grade of 76%.
Posted 2:32 PM by whatley 0 comments

Looks like the Tribe has clinched the Central Division title again. Cool. Even though I'm not much of a pro sports fan I enjoy seeing Cleveland teams do well. I used to go to a few Tribe games each year and maybe a Browns game but I haven't done that for a couple of seasons. Too expensive, especially the Browns. Personal Seat Licenses? You gotta be kidding me. When modell (I refuse to capitalize his name) moved the Browns a lot of people around here were forced to realize that pro sports ain't as much about sports as it is about money. We always knew that but it was an easy thing to ignore. I've got a neat sports related link for you though: the Smithsonian Baseball Card Collection. They have fantastic high-res images of cards from 1887 to 1914 on line. And how 'bout some period music while you browse them? Great flapper era tunes. Be sure and check out You’se a Viper, which clearly alludes to smoking dope.
Posted 11:34 AM by whatley 0 comments